Connect Across Time, Space, and Probability
Our response time is typically 2-3 business days (timeline dependent). For urgent matters, please call our emergency hotline.
Mapleheart Community Center
123 Community Lane
Heartville, State 12345
Dimension: Prime Reality
Monday - Friday: 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Saturday: 10:00 AM - 3:00 PM
Sunday: Closed (temporal maintenance)
Hours may vary during reality fluctuations
Main Line: (555) 123-HEART
Emergency: (555) 911-TIME
Fax: (555) 123-4567
Quantum Line: ∞∞∞-∞∞∞-∞∞∞∞
Email: [email protected]
Support: [email protected]
Emergency: [email protected]
Temporal Issues: [email protected]
Telepathic: Channel 7.3 (requires Reality Anchor certification)
Dream Network: Sleep ID #MH2024 (lucid dreamers only)
Smoke Signals: Tuesdays only (weather permitting)
Carrier Pigeon: Ask for Gerald (he speaks 12 languages)
Time Capsule: Bury at coordinates [REDACTED]
Quantum Entanglement: Pair ID #QE-7749-X
Interdimensional Post: Mail slot behind the broken clock tower
Emotional Resonance: Think very fondly of community while holding a maple leaf
Note: Alternative communication methods may result in receiving messages from parallel versions of our organization. Please verify sender identity before acting on any instructions involving reality manipulation.
In case of reality-threatening incidents, follow these protocols immediately:
Call (555) 911-TIME immediately
Do not attempt to fix manually
Evacuate to nearest stable dimension
Symptoms: Objects existing in wrong places, people remembering things that haven't happened, time flowing backwards
Remain calm, note current year
Contact nearest Mapleheart facility
Do not interact with past/future versions of yourself
If displaced more than 50 years, seek immediate temporal medical attention
Disconnect all relationships immediately
Seek professional isolation assistance
Avoid crowded areas for 24-48 hours
Warning signs: Reading minds unintentionally, feeling everyone's emotions simultaneously, speaking in unison with strangers
Stop all actions immediately
Call Department of Impossible Things: (555) 000-NULL
Do not think about the paradox
Paradox symptoms include but are not limited to: existing and not existing simultaneously, being your own grandparent, meeting yourself in the hallway
Acknowledge The Observer's presence politely
Do not ask questions about future events
Continue normal activities
The Observer appears when timeline stability requires direct intervention. This is routine and no cause for alarm.
Important: Emergency services may not exist in all timelines. In case of multi-dimensional emergency, follow your local reality's protocols while we work to restore cross-dimensional communication.
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Directions: Head towards the feeling of warm community connection. Turn left at the impossible intersection. We're the building that feels like home even though you've never been there before.
Free parking available in Lot B
Spaces occasionally exist in multiple dimensions
Bus Route 42 stops across the street
Schedule varies by reality phase
Accessible via the Community Path
Follow the maple leaf markers
Coordinates: 42.3601° N, 71.0589° W
Advanced users only